Dance through your day

"Mix a little foolishness with your serious plans: it’s lovely to be silly at the right moment." -- Horace Today, we invite you to do the Take-Your-Time Tango. In his book ‘Games for the Soul,’ Drew Leder challenges us to dance through our days with the graceful, slow elegance of a tango dancer. Slow down a notch," Leder counsels. "Do whatever you do in a calm and leisurely fashion. ... As much as possible, don’t be driven by inner fear, external deadlines, or rushed companions to stumble through a speeded-up dance. Act as if you have all the time in the world. Come to think of it, you do: No one else has any more hours." So stand (or sit) tall. Raise your chin as you gather your full concentration, dignity and self confidence to glide smoothly and beautifully through the day. "We look at the dance to impart the sensation of living in an affirmation of life, to energize the spectator into keener awareness of the vigor, the mystery, the humor, the variety, and the wonder of life." -- Martha Graham Never have time for what you really want in life? Take control of the time of your life by changing your mind. Understand time from a higher perspective...

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Believe in magic!

"... for magic to happen in your life, you must believe in magic." -- Grandmother, quoted by Lynn Andrews "Most of the time, we fall in love but can’t remain there. The world then calls the state we were in a delusion or infatuation ... But we merely lacked, or someone else lacked, the emotional skills to hold on to the magic when the morning came. ... In truth, we can go to the moon and retain its magic for a lifetime." -- Marianne Williamson "We think, sometimes, there’s not a dragon left. Not one brave knight, not a single princess gliding through secret forests ... What a pleasure to be wrong. Princesses, knights, enchantments and dragons, mystery and adventure ... not only are they here-and-now, they’re all that ever lived on earth! Masters of reality still meet us in dreams to tell us that we’ve never lost the shield we need against dragons, that blue-fire voltage arcs through us now to change our world as we wish. Intuition whispers true: We’re not dust, we’re magic!" -- Richard Bach Access your own inner wisdom by tapping into your subconscious and intuition. Release stress, blocks and negative emotions, and spark imagination and greater vision. Go deeper… Reach higher...

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Value the process

"If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear ... as it is, infinite."

-- William Blake

When we stop and pay attention to ourselves, we begin to see clearly the habits and patterns that have kept us asleep and confused and misled for so long. With awareness, we can choose to shift from the selfish and narrow outlook of our personality to the all-embracing generosity of our soul, simply by changing our perspective.

Change your mind and you’ll change your world.

"You watch your mind to see who you are not. I watch my mind to gain a sense of its content, which has always been my pain. As I watch it, I get a sense of its impermanence. Thoughts come and go as part of a process. I see how content dissolves into process and begin to see the patterns in the process. Realizing it isn’t MY suffering, MY pain, it becomes THE pain. I’ve gone from the tiny, the small, and the individual to the universal. I feel OUR pain. When we do, we go from fear to compassion. Fear is MY pain, compassion is THE pain."

-- Stephen Levine

Awareness is the key to all change. Begin to trust yourself more deeply as you uncover new dimensions of who you are. Go on a journey of self-discovery... 

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The first step to forgiveness

"To get to forgiveness, we first have to work through the painful experiences that require it."

-- Christiane Northrup

To forgive, we do not have to say that whatever happened was okay. In fact, before we can forgive, we need to allow ourselves to really feel the pain of the experience. If we don’t fully acknowledge our hurts, we will continue to carry them subconsciously and they will drain our energy.

To forgive, we need to decide that we won’t allow the memories of the event to poison us any longer. We’re ready to heal this wound from the past and open to a fresh new beginning.

The blessing is that when we’re really ready to experience our pain and we open to it, it usually fades away. By honouring our pain, we release it.

"We must let ourselves feel all the painful destruction we want to forgive rather than swallow it in denial. If we do not face it, we cannot choose to forgive it."

-- Kenneth McNoll

As we are spiritual beings, the root of all of our life challenges lies in the spiritual realm. Get in touch with your spiritual nature for that all important first step...

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Workplace Bullying .....silence fight of life .... wake up n fight back .. GO BANG GONG ...

“Borrow trouble for yourself, if that’s your nature, but don’t give it to your neighbor.” 

                                                                                             –Rudyard Kipling 

When you think of bullying, you may tend to think of a kid in gym class being shoved into the bleachers or a teenager being harassed online by other kids. What isn't talked about with similar frequency is bullying that happens to adults. According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, the term workplace bullying is defined as "mistreatment severe enough to compromise a targeted worker's health, jeopardize her or his job and career, and strain relationships with friends and family". In other words, it is demonstrable abusive behavior that does more than make you uncomfortable; it negatively impacts your life inside the workplace and out. Examples of workplace bullying include the following: 

• Personal threats 

• Derogatory comments 

• Public humiliation 

• Intimidation tactics such as hovering or sneaking up to startle 

• Verbal abuse 

• Purposeful exclusion of others from meetings or discussions 

• Excessive demands, impossible deadlines or unreasonable requests 

Bullies crave power due to their own insecurities. They feel that the only way to hold onto power is through coercion . The main difference between the two: A childhood bully's torment can result in emotional damage with long-term and sometimes tragic consequences. A workplace bully adds another ingredient to this mix: the threat of losing one's job. 

HOW IT FEELS TO BE BULLIED AT WORK.... 

The emotional and physical impact a bully may have on a co-worker can be extreme. As mentioned earlier, the fear of losing one's job can be a powerful motivator to stay put, despite the abuse. It is not unusual for adults being bullied to exhibit the following behaviors: 

• Dread going to work 

• Lose a significant amount of sleep 

• Suffer from depression 

• Obsess over their job performance 

• Rationalize the bully's behavior or begin to believe he or she deserves to be mistreated 

• Have difficulties at home due to extreme stress at work 

HOW DO YOU HANDLE A BULLY ??? 

Bullying can not be ignored. If you feel you are being bullied, here's some steps to follow: 

1. Evaluate the situation 

It's important to trust your instincts in situations like this. If you feel bullied, you probably are a victim. But look closely at what is happening around the person in question. Is everyone afraid of them? Do they have a reputation for this sort of thing? Are you not the only one experiencing this? 

If it's happening to others, get together with them and find out how they feel. There's power in numbers. 

2. Make notes 

When something happens, write it down. Keep a log of every insult, every back stabbing move they make. Documentation is a very powerful tool. Write down dates and times and exact quotes if you can. 

3. Don't play their game 

It's easy to let someone push your buttons and fly off the handle at them. Don't let this happen. Don't stoop to their level. Remember that this is a professional environment and show some respect for your work. Try your best to ignore the bully and their actions. Don't let yourself be baited. Chances are, the bully is looking for a reaction. When they don't get one, they may eventually stop. 

4. Stand up for yourself 

It may seem like a contradiction after the last point, but don't let yourself be walked on. You can ignore the bully without sitting down in the middle of the road. What I mean is this: find your voice. If someone is piling irrelevant work on you, respectfully say no. It will take some time to find the right way of doing this, but it can (and should) be done. If you are being left out of meetings, bring it to the attention of the group. Tell them how it makes you feel and what the consequences are to the job. Keep your interactions professional and respectful always, no matter what they hurl at you. 

5. Call in the Big Guns 

If you've done all you feel you can do, take the issue to your Human Resources Manager. Take your documentation with you and address the issue from a work perspective. Elaborate on how the behavior is damaging your work. Inform them of how important the issue is, stressing your desire to continue working in a comfortable, safe environment. 

6. Know when to fold 

Once you've asked for help and nothing changes, you may need to consider the possibility of leaving. No one advocates such a decision because it simply reinforces to bullies that they can "push" people out with their behavior. But you have to think of yourself in all of this. It's not worth it to stay in a negative environment just to prove a point. If the bullying is damaging you physically (i.e. you can't sleep, have knots in your stomach or panic attacks) you need to seek professional help. There are also legal steps you can take to help you. Investigate your options thoroughly before making any decisions. And always remember that you deserve a friendly, peaceful environment to work in. We all do. 

7. Others 

To leave on an empowered note, try the following tactics: 

• Ask colleagues and allies for a positive reference letter. 

• Understand the laws regarding defamation of character. 

• Review your documentation of bullying, and decide whether there is justification for legal action. 

• If an exit interview is required, bring along a letter from your attorney 

If you want to go beyond simply dealing with the bully and have decided it's time to take action, read on to find out the best way to report what's been happening. 

REPORTING A WORKPLACE BULLYING..... 

In 62 percent of cases, employers who were informed of bullying behavior either ignored the complaint or targeted the person who filed a complaint . If you are planning to report being bullied, having a record of when, where and how you were bullied is invaluable. In any legal case, evidence must be brought forth to prove a crime has been committed. The same holds true in the workplace. If you are experiencing bullying, it is vital to keep detailed documentation of each instance. 

• If your bully writes demeaning emails, print and save them in a safe location. Do not leave them sitting in your inbox. 

• Ask co-workers who witnessed a particular incident to corroborate your account of events. 

• Check a company handbook or state or federal laws to see whether your civil rights were violated. 

• Gather documentation for proof if you believe bully is costing the company money. 

Lodging an official complaint against a co-worker or boss can be tricky business and is often riskier for you than the bully. Many human resources departments often view the person reporting the abuse as the troublemaker. While many companies have policies against harassment, many of those same companies ignore complaints or build cases to purge the complainer. "Managers generally function under the traditional illusion that by protecting the bullies in their company, they are protecting their employers and themselves" .

Courtesy: Aashna Bansal.

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On self-honesty

"No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be true."

-- Nathaniel Hawthorne

"You cannot fake a relationship and feel right with yourself or anyone else. Changing yourself to fit what you think other people want doesn’t work. Pretending to be someone other than yourself only broadens the distance between the person you are and the one with whom you’re trying to establish closeness."

-- Mary Manin Morrissey

"Just as surely as distress must follow self-deceit, healing must follow self-honesty."

-- Vernon Howard

"Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got."

-- Janis Joplin

We don’t change overnight. Personal growth requires persistence... 

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What message did you most need to hear?

"One word frees us from the weight and pain of life; that word is love." --Sophocles

In exploring the enneagram, Riso and Hudson have identified ‘lost messages’ that we needed to hear as children but didn’t. The absence of these words may be at the heart of our most basic fear. And unconsciously we may still be seeking to hear these words from others.

Review the following messages and note if any one touches you more strongly than the others:

1. "You are good."
2. "You are wanted."
3. "You are loved for yourself."
4. "You are seen for who you are."
5. "Your needs are not a problem."
6. "You are safe."
7. "You will be taken care of."
8. "You will not be betrayed."
9. "Your presence matters."

"Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are -- chaff and grain together -- certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away."

-- Dinah Mulock

Know Yourself – An adventure in self discovery! Become aware of your subconscious limitations, your character strengths, weaknesses and potentials, your life challenges, gifts, talents, and your deepest desires and aspirations...That word and that feeling.....love. I didn't feel like I got it, lost it for myself, and did things trying to get it. Without it for myself, I know today that I lost the ability to truly feel it for others. Today I feel it for me, and can give it unconditionally to you, and the other statements above just "are".

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The Three Trees...

Wanted to share this special story with you.... Like a lot of things in life, it's much easier said than done but this is where faith and perseverance comes in. 

Once there were three trees on a hill in a woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty." 

Then the second tree said "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull." 

Finally the third tree said. "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me.." 

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter." and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest. 

At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship. 

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsman said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one" and he cut it down. 

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. 

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams. Then one day, a man and women came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time. 

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the king of kings in it's boat. 

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it. 

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined.

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How do you play your roles?

"What concerns me is not the way things are, but rather the way people think things are."

-- Epicetus

When we are basically unconscious, we live according to social roles. We perform as sons and daughters, mothers and fathers, husbands and wives, employers and employees, as society expects us to.

As we grow in awareness, we gain the freedom to bring our own unique perspectives to these roles. We can express ourselves authentically and creatively, without letting our roles dictate how we should behave.

"Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinion of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth."

-- Katherine Mansfield

Awareness is the key to all change. Begin to trust yourself more deeply as you uncover new dimensions of who you are. 

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A focus for parents

"Parents: persons who spend half their time worrying how a child will turn out, and the rest of the time wondering when a child will turn in."

-- Ted Cook

One of our responsibilities as parents is to become independent of our children.

Andrew Schneider notes that many of us feel inadequate as parents because we assume we are totally responsible for them, but we are not.

Schneider says, "Their soul is in charge of their lives, and nothing that you do can greatly interfere nor greatly help. Who you are as a being and what you model is the important reality."

How specifically can we support our children? We want them to feel nurtured and valued. We want to support them in learning how to provide for themselves. And we want to help them build good relationships.

"The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them."

-- Frank A. Clark

"There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children. One of these is roots; the other, wings."

-- Hodding Carter

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